My Cancer Story 2010 & Beyond

I remember when I found out that I had cancer; my first thoughts were I’m going to die. I just did not really prepare myself for those words. I was scared, even though I knew that God was in control, and I was scared because I did not want to leave this world, my family and my friends. I say I am ready to go “Home” meaning Heaven, but really I’m not. My life is great, and I love the people, and the beauty that surrounds me day in and day out, and that in a nutshell is the whole kit-n-kaboodle.

How can I be not ready to go “Home”? Heaven is described as something I cannot even fathom, the beauty of it is like nothing I or any other human being has ever experienced, so how can I not be ready to go there? What does that say about me? I will tell you what I think it says… I am not done living my life; there are exactly three boys and one girl I plan to marry off and loads of grandchildren I want to spoil and one wonderful husband, who I can’t wait to grow old with. Maybe because the Bible tells me of things I cannot see or touch, I don’t take it as seriously as I should. I believe wholeheartedly in God’s word; don’t get me wrong, it is just hard for me to understand this Heaven I cannot feel. This life I lead here on earth, I can touch, and feel… it is comfortable… What a way to live, comfortable.

Maybe I am not supposed to feel comfortable. It may be that God wants me to be just the opposite… as in uncomfortable. He has plans for me; just because I don’t know what they are does not mean they don’t exist. I cannot for the life of me think of what would be so great about me that God has this whole plan worked out just for my life, but you know, He does. He loves me so much that He sent His only Son to die on that cross so that I could have eternal life. He loves me that much, and I had absolutely nothing to do with it. I have done nothing worthy of God’s love, but yet I have it. “Thank you for the life you have given me, and thank you for loving me in spite of myself”.

The friends I share life with are so special to me; they have all been a blessing in my life. Jesus is my friend too and He has blessed me with so many loved ones, I hardly feel deserving, but I thank Him anyway. As I finish up here, I just want to say that God is not finished with me yet, I am a work in progress, and my life is not a sprint… it is a marathon… to be taken one step at a time. So I am off to continue on the journey I call my life…my cancer…my journey. God be with you and may He richly bless you! 

Finding out I had to have surgery was a happy day for me. That meant that I would finally be free of my diseased Thyroid and the debilitating symptoms that went with it. So for me, surgery was a good thing, and something I had been wanting for some time. I found out I was to have surgery October 30th. Wow, what a day to have someone cutting my neck open, right, the day before Halloween.

The Doctor that would be doing the cutting was named Dr. Fear, but I was not at all nervous, not really. You see I have always believed that God was in control of my life, so there was no need to worry. Not to say I have never worried, I have, but for the most part I am content to let God be in the drivers’ seat. It is much easier that way.

 I love what Psalms 62:1-2 says “My soul waits in silence for God only; From Him is my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken.” This is how I choose to look at God. He is my refuge, and the one I go to for comfort, and hope. When everything else is going south, I know I can count on God to always be here for me, even till the end of time. 

2013 update
The years have flown by and I am feeling healthy and so far all my testing has come remission! I have to say as I read the above story I did not give much detail and I'm honestly not sure why so I thought I'd add a bit more.

Every year since my cancer diagnosis I have had to go in for testing, radiation, isolation and scans...and every year the tests come remission, no cancer detected.  These tests I take consist of shots, radiation, days of isolation, and full body scans, and I am always scared of what they might find inside my body.  

While I am laying there on the table for 45 minutes being scanned I am thinking just how small I really am.  When I say small I don't mean physically, I mean in the big scheme of things, small.  My life is but a drop in the proverbial pond we call home.  This world I live in is my temporary home, my permanent forever home is heaven and someday this all will not matter one iota.  

Today I am healthy, fit and blessed beyond measure.  I am alive, I run...I live my life and enjoy the blessings I have been bestowed with. I thank God that He healed me and I was given another chance.  Before cancer I was unhealthy, fat..and very sick and not only that...I really just existed.  I did the day to day things I had to, took care of the kids and my hubby...went to work...etc.  I really wasn't living my true life.  I am now! I enjoy my life, my kids and hubby...I relish the quiet moments and laugh out loud at the crazy antics of the people I love the most.  I truly look at the beauty around me and know that I do contribute something, even if it may be a small part I make a difference...God says I'm significant so it has to be true.  

Life is good, and too short to be complained about or wasted away watching TV and eating candy bars.  I will live, survive, laugh, love and appreciate all I have been given and blessed with.    

2017 I am still in remission from thyroid cancer but am now battling breast cancer.  I will beat this too, of that I am sure.

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